What's "home" mean?
We toss the word around on a daily basis without thinking much about it.
But its meaning is richer and more complicated than our usage implies.
At least, I can say I have complicated relationship with the word "home".
When I was young, I was split between two houses.
I spent most time in the house where I felt like an unwanted guest. I spent a lot less time in the other, but felt safer there.
So, which was home?
I once owned a house for about 4 years. But, I gave it up when I left a very broken relationship.
Was it home?
Since 2019, I've moved every 3-9 months.
Did/do I have a home?
Would you refer to your parent's house as a home of yours?
Is the city you grew up in home?
Is where you currently live home? At what point did it become home?
My wife and I spent several months in India in 2023.
The cultural and societal differences made it a constant struggle for her.
But, we lived with friends while there and were integrated into their family.
I recently asked her, "do feel like you have a home in India?" She paused a moment... and said, "I know it sounds crazy, but yeah, I do".
Whatever "home" is, it's obviously important to us. It's just hard to define.
It's split between physical and emotional space. And, the boundaries are constantly shifting.
"Home" seems to have elements of:
- Safety
- Familiarity
- Comfort
It's a (physical and/or mental) space where we can be ourselves.
It's where we have relationships with others. Close relationships, like with a spouse, and friendly relationships, like with the owner of the local bakery.
It's where we sleep well at night because we feel safe from harm.
It's where we know what to expect. Where our dishes are, what we'll find at the grocery store, who we'll meet along the way.
What happens when someone we love leaves our physical space? Is the space still home?
Maybe we feel less safe.
Maybe we feel lonely.
Maybe we feel lost.
Are we still "home" when our physical space stops fulfilling our needs?
If we reunite with someone we love in some place we've never been, and everything suddenly feels familiar, is that "home"?
Have you ever traveled somewhere you've never been before and realized you feel more at "home" than you've felt in years?
What's "home"?
Maybe it's an act of feeling.
Not a noun, but a verb.
Maybe home is simply when we say, "I feel at home".